At what point are we no longer victims, but people fighting for the best things in life? This is a question that has defined part of my journey to where and who I am today.
When I was a young mother seeking justice as a battered wife in the mid 1970’s, there were no laws in place that gave me the rights to protect myself. Everything that might have crossed my mind to protect myself from my victimizer would insure me a terrible punishment in the justice system.
But, at the same time, as I recalled a police officer came to my home and instead of protecting my children and I or listening to why he was called, he instead gave me a speech. First he asked me if my children were my ex-husband’s. When I said they were, the officer told me that there was nothing he could do and he left.
Because of that encounter, it took me eight years to get my children’s father to leave me alone. He felt that he had a right to move into my home whenever he pleased. Whenever I got a place to live, he would find a way to move in on me. It would be as if he never left and the domestic violence would always intensify.
I was praying for the day that I would be completely free of my children’s father. But, it took something with even more terrible intentions to come along. If you know my story, you would know that my life was taken over by a very dangerous man. For two years, not only was I trying to keep my children alive, but their father’s too.
Living through the actual journey to gain freedom was not an easy task. Because I have amnesia, my life was always a struggle through hardships and poverty. But, one day I decided that my life was worth more than I was giving it. I was holding back, because of fear. I did not challenge myself enough to be an overcomer or a thriver. I wallowed in sorrow and dread, but I did not give up entirely.
I took myself to school via educational television. I re-taught myself how to drive. I learned that it is true that the early bird catches the worm. So I started each day at four o’clock in the morning. I started closing my ears to people who told me how limited my life would be. I refused to go on Social Security and be labeled handicapped. Yes, I stood in the food stamp line and the welfare line, but those situations were leverage for me to get a grip on life after victimization.
The greatest enemy I faced after victimization was me. I had to find my own strength. I had to face my weaknesses and tell myself that I am beautiful and I am worthy to be loved … first by me. I had to challenge myself to tell me that I could do anything I set my mind to. So I started going to sit in an observe trials in the courtroom. I began to go to the library and read about jobs and what I would need to do to apply.
I realized that I loved to learn, and that became my motto: “I can learn any job you put before me”.
What I did was something that I wish everyone can do at some point in their life, if they’ve gone through troubles: gain the rights of freedom.
Don’t accept what victimization offers you. Instead, take the reins of freedom and take your rights – and make your life into what you want it to be.
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